Instead Of Fighting Your Ego, Make A Deal With It

Let’s start with the fact that your Ego is highly overprotective – destined to keep you safe, dull, and cautious. Its sense of control is contagious. It will do anything to sabotage your happiness, good mood, and kill your positive vibes every time you give in.

It’s by nature louder and has a persuasive tone.

Because it will call upon an egocentric part of you, it will never benefit your relationships, as it will make a vivid separation between you and others.

❌Within seconds it will provide you with many bulletproof reasons, arguments, and examples of how others mistreat you or are against you. Therefore, you absolutely must be ultra-selfish to survive in this world. Ego’s job is to try to save you from potential failures and situations where you might or might not get hurt. It swears by it and is on twentyfour-hour duty out there flashing monster-sized signs that read: ‘THIS IS DANGEROUS’, ‘STOP’, ‘DON’T GO THERE’, and ‘YOU WILL FAIL’. Any time you’re presented with an opportunity to grow, expand, take a risk, it will talk you out of it. ❌

It will convince you how scary, risky, and uncertain the move is. So, if you have big dreams, goals to achieve – it will be like hitting your head against the wall trying to get your Ego as excited about your idea as you are. It will not understand it because it does not have a capacity for understanding. And frankly speaking, that’s not its job.

It is its job, however, to focus on your weaknesses rather than your strengths. It will warn you to stay out of unknown terrain because you might be ridiculed, embarrassed, and disappointed. And when and if you fall, it will whisper: “You fool, I told you so!”In other words, it will keep you safe but unlikely fulfilled.

Because the universal truth states that if you protect yourself from failure, you will never reach your goals.🖤

In my personal life, I knew I was giving away too much power to my Ego, and it was about time to make some changes. Since Ego is incapable of teaching me the things I came to learn, I need to take the opposite path despite the warning fears my Ego is trying to thrust upon me.

So, I invited my Ego to speak up, possibly share a bottle of red. 🍷 We met in a fancy place of its choice because I know how much it loves to be in control of everything. We both dressed up for the occasion and prepared our speeches. 

Mine went like this:

🖤Dear Ego, I am very thankful to have you in my life because I know how much you care about me. Sometimes too much. Too intense, too extreme. At such times, I am suffocating in your care, unable to move forward. I think it’s essential to clear the air between us so we both can exist side-by-side without interfering. How incredibly liberating this would feel. Because I know that you aren’t walking out on me, ever, and I am not letting you go, because well, I need you, and I am also a human. 🖤

But I am going to say this – I don’t always need your well-wished opinions since those opinions block the light for me to see what’s best for me. When and if I am upset you don’t talk me out of it, you seem to make it more serious by setting up the binocular telescope and showing me everything in the worst possible light – how others hurt me, how sorry I should feel for myself, how no one cares, how I am always alone and lonely.

I can’t let you continue to decide what I am going to eat because I need to watch my diet, or what kind of unkind thing I should say to someone who hurt me, or what sort of behavior I should demonstrate to teach the bad guys a lesson. I can’t always roll up my sleeves and get my karate moves going to protect you, my dearest Ego.

💓Because I no longer want to feel lonely. I no longer want to fight and see the worst in people because I am just continuing to hurt myself this way – to keep anger, resentment, sabotaging my relationships, feeling defensive. I want to be gentle, compassionate, and open-minded, the person I already am. 💓

I know I won’t change in an instant, and at times, you’ll still be the one I’ll be listening to. It’s been a hell of a ride... but this is where I get off. From this point onwards, I have got to move on.

🌸I have got to see the beauty in me and those around me. Not everyone is out there to hunt me down. Not everyone is out there to hurt me. Some are here to love me and teach me how to love. I’ve got to train my heart muscle. Because I now know that the more it gets used, hurt, and recovered, the more capable it becomes of loving.🌸

The Ego sat there, nodding its head, and listening patiently.

“All right, I’ll back off a little. But I’ll never leave you because there is nothing else I know how to do.”

We cheered our glasses, finished our last sips, and then parted ways. And just like that, I went back to my soul. 💫

So if I was to make a bold declaration of who I am, here to stay, and how to live more soulfully, I had to do the following: I had to slow down rather than doing what I knew best: blazing through, all armed up, ready to pick up my swords. I was yet to shift from heavy to light, but I also knew that I am an endless work in process, and so are you.

I can no longer go on toughening up my exterior, thickening up my skin without giving a f*ck. Thinking that’s one of those things required for living.

I’m not here to fight, collect achievement medals, or get praised by strangers. I’m not here to attach my self-worth to external rewards or entertain alluring distractions.

I’m here to feel it all, never numbing, never chasing, but allowing the light and love planted deeply within me to shine through every step of the way.

🖤So yes, you shouldn’t give a f*ck too much, but you sure do always have to give a f*ck for yourself –your feelings, intuition, and inner knowing, which is your Northern Star. I haven’t yet come across a woman who doesn’t give a f*ck. No one is that confident, she’s just buried her power. Unquestionably, it’s suffocating her. 🖤

We're always Meant to go Somewhere and here's Why.

Five years ago, I arrived in London with a suitcase and a bruised heart. There was nothing particular about London that attracted me here: no Big Ben, no Buckingham palace, not its queen.

But I felt with all my heart that I'd been called to come here despite the unknown logical reasons.

I choose not to question the Universe and trust that my intuition knows more than I ever could.

Five years later, here I am again– leaving because something else is calling my heart. That something is still a mystery wrapped in excitement and possibility of what's yet to come.

My heart is nervously beating because I'm moving again. The funny part is that I just wrote a book about stepping into my zone of discomfort as often as possible is why I lead the most truthful and authentic life. And while I've done it so many times in the past, it doesn't get easier. Because now, for the first time in my life, I've planted my roots. I domesticated. I've acquired furniture and gave life to babies. It is no longer me, my thoughts, and a suitcase. It's a whole more of us with our own dreams and destinies on the line, which is why it feels so much harder.

While, of course, I'm excited about new beginnings - I always am, I'm also sad of what I'm leaving behind because I'm human - vulnerable and sensitive, just like the rest of us.

I don't seem to end a chapter of my life with a baby's birth or moving houses. I do mark my life's chapters with moving countries. Those are my seasons. Those are my endings and beginnings. Because as one season ends, the next immediately begins. I do not know what to expect, but there is this familiar feeling impatiently calling and pulling a rag underneath my feet, telling it's time to go. But above all, it's my mind, soul, and heart unitedly voting for me to let go. Let go of everything that no longer serves me.

Because I no longer want the same things. I now want greater things. I've become a giver, no longer taker.

A giver is responsible for the energy she brings to the world. She can't give if her energy jar is empty or flooded with old ideas, behaviors, ways of life, and outdated beliefs that drag her down. On the contrary, her energy jar must be filled with light and love so she can bring more of this into the world. This world is thirsty for love, and it's our responsibility to give more of it.

To give, we have to have the capacity to receive. To receive, we need to swirl freely in a flow of life. And we can't be in a flow of life if we are struggling, fighting, resisting life to flood through us. We need to trust life's divine guidance wherever it may bring us. We need to begin listening carefully to what our heart is trying to say. Because it's always saying something, it's always telling what needs to be done. It suffers when we're trying hard to cling onto the wrong things.

Perhaps those things aren't ours to keep because it shouldn't be a struggle to keep if they were. Living for over thirty years on this planet, I've learned something. Change is inventible if living is what we're after, not pure existing in a warm cocoon-like climate. Change comes into our lives with a never-ending invitation to transform everything on its way, including you. It is reminding that there is a deadline, after all, almost to everything. It is flashing out everything that you no longer need. All you can do is trust the process and believe that it's guiding you towards the exact place you're meant to be at.

Because the future is always calling. Whether you're ready or not.

We change, mature, and evolve, which is why we shouldn't be afraid of change and transformation because every now and then, there is a unique path being forged to be walked by no one but you. When we trust our hearts, we receive cosmic, divine, bountiful energy to start new things. We are fuelled with purpose. We are truly in the moment. And as we do that, we sync back with nature's natural rhythms and connect to life's heartbeat. And just like that, we step into the flow of life. There we are unstoppable.

While reliving all the emotions when faced with change, I'm also feeling peaceful because I'm at home in my mind, body, and soul. And when you have that– you'll never be lost, wherever life may bring you.

I'm ready to step into a new path that is larger, deeper, and more connected to the larger whole. I trust what's to come is greater than me; therefore, I'm pulled to leave the life I built. So while I'm sipping my last cup of tea and munching on a biscuit in England, I surrender. I accept and welcome the change with open arms because I know it so intimately, after all. I greet it with a smile and a full heart.

Bye, London for now. Ciao Italy.