“ Only dead fish goes with a flow.”

So another day, I heard this saying: “ Only dead fish goes with a flow.” 

And wow, what a reaction it struck in me. ⚡️

Many will tell you that going with a flow is a good thing but here is why it's not. 

Going with the flow means living life unconsciously on autopilot without interfering with a thing. 

It means I am not consciously creating what I want. ❌

I am not trying to change a thing, but I am silently hoping that something will change. ❌

It means I am accepting whatever comes my way... Perhaps I don't even pay attention. ❌

And here’s a scary thing... 

Living on autopilot sooner or later makes one feel lost or stuck because, like that dead fish, she risks ending up nowhere.

Certainly not in the place she chose. 🚀

While sometimes it's hard to see where to begin... Know this - we rarely create lives we want by accident. 

So if you desire something greater, something better, something else than what you’re currently living... 👇

Start small. 

Notice what needs change. Be honest about it. Often, it's a mindset thing and that can be indeed improved.🤩

There are plenty self- help tools available and I am here if you need to talk.♥️

No matter what you decide, know that when creating a conscious life, we intentionally create and design the life we want. 

We reflect and select. We decide on things. We achieve goals. We thrive. 

We are happy because we actively choose to create lives we love- energetically, spiritually, materialistically, aesthetically, and wholeheartedly. 

I wish you never settle until you live your dream and are conscious that every present moment is your opportunity to be a new beginning. 🎉

With love,

Kristina

Why You Should be Mothering Yourself

You deserve all the love in the world, darling. 

You deserve to be seen, heard, understood, and deeply cared for at all times. 

You deserve to be held tightly on those dark, lonely nights. 

You deserve all the love and some more combined in this world. 

And you get to have it all, if only you nurture and mother yourself, darling. 

Because the truth is: You will chase this feeling of love, and even when seemingly found, something won't feel right. 

Simply because if you cant nurture and mother yourself, you will never feel fully loved. Completely understood. Wholly enough. Entirely deserving of love. 

And that's the saddest part of it all... because you deserve all this love and some more. 

Mother-daughter relationships need some healing for many of us- whether you had the world's best or worst mother. Because let's be honest for a second - she wasn't a hero, nor a superhuman. She was only a human with her own pains and wounds to heal. Not perfect or loved enough by those who came before her. 

Until she had you... until you chose to come here to learn and to grow. Out of all the mothers you could have had, you chose her. With all her flaws and imperfections, this woman birthed you to this world and gave you life. 

Even if she did her very best, she couldn't possibly give you all that you needed, most likely because she longed for the very same things, maybe even more. 

But you do get to choose. Choose to meet your own needs and to give yourself all that you craved. Give yourself love, care, attention, and quality time. 

You can choose to love yourself and her because she did her best when she could have given her worst. 

She taught you lessons directly or indirectly- something that will always be a part of you. 

Ask yourself, what did she teach you? 

What did you crave the most as a child? Think of ways you can give it to yourself today and for as long as you live.

If your mother was a child, what would you teach her? How would you love her?

Care for yourself deeply, darling, because no one else can give you what you need the most.

Sing to yourself. Care for yourself. Adore yourself. Shower yourself in softness, compassion, devotion, and attention you always wanted.

And while you are at it, send some love to your mother. Chances are, if you need this deeply, she probably does too...

Shine BRIGHT, LOVE

You’ll be judged that you’re too much or not enough. Too loud or too shy to speak up. Too opinionated or too ignorant. You’ll be judged how you live, where you work or don’t work, how you spend your time and money like it’s anyone’s business but YOURS. 👑

•

💖It is your business who you are and how you show up. 

💖It is your business what kind of energy you live in so you can attract more of it. 

💖It is your life, your time, your space to step up. 

As I do my best to stop dimming my own light, I'd like to invite you not to dim yours either. 

Let people be people. Let them watch you. Let them talk of you quietly, wishing they could be more like you. It is not your business what they think. They can come with you or stay where they are. 

•

But to you, my dear darling, I wish to be more. 

💖I wish you don’t fight for what you want; instead, co-create that what you want with the energy of the Universe that wants you to show up in your whole essence. 

💖It wants you to be bold and thriving. 

💖It wants you to be more you, to be braver, louder, happier human so you can have ALL that what you want. 💙 

You just have to show up💖💫

SET YOUR HOME FOR BLISS

Feeling a huge urge to rearrange my space. I recently moved, and I love times like these because it allows me to let go of things I accumulated. Also, moving to a new space marks a new chapter, and it does wonders to set up my home intentionally.

Even if it’s a temporary space, even if it’s a rented space, even if it isn’t your ideal place, you must put your heart into it. ❤️Because whatever you put in is exactly what you get out.✨Clean your closet, clear out your doorway, and free space for all the things you want because they want you back. ❤️

I placed beautiful things I love on the shelves where I can see them daily or even better first thing in the morning. This makes me feel good and sends positive vibes back at the Universe. In return, Universe always pays me in more of it, more things I love, blissful day, good mood.

For years I wouldn’t invest in my home because it was rented space. As soon as I realized that my environment is crucial for success, I changed my ways about it. I started intentionally investing in things that call my name. I bought a plant I loved, I bought a salt lamp, went crystals shopping at the local Italian market. I was even gifted a crystal. I set the crystals in my home and just watch how the energy in my home changes. I watch how I am changing with it. I finally started to feel like I am in a flow with life, something I craved for so long…

Rise baby mama rise!

🦋 Ask any woman what kind of parent she wants to be, and she will most likely say– a happy one. She wants to be a present, valid, loving mother and a cheerful wife giving her best. But let's face it: not every baby mama can feel this– day after day or even most days.

🦋 Because not all of us have the luxury to feel rested, let alone be inspired. Not all of us are domestic goddesses dreaming what kind of sophisticated dish we'll throw on a table at night.

🦋 If you ever spent your whole day in a dirty bathrobe, unbrushed hair put up in a bun, and all you have managed to have in a day was a burned toast, you know what I am talking about.

You're now doing it all type of woman. A wonder woman. You're being watched, judged, and often reminded that you're no longer the woman you used to be. Out of a sense of duty and love, you placed your jewels aside and became what the world told you to be– nurturing and patient—swirling things at home and beyond. You kept everyone happy, apart from yourself.

There's pressure to be and perform at all times. Expectations of what a perfect woman and her household are like. Above all, because becoming a mother equals becoming a giver, no longer taker.

And you better do it looking happy. Because the other baby mamas keep it together, so must you.

But this isn't called living, my dear baby mama.

I know this dearly because I remind myself of this daily.

We can't be our best or give our best when we run on empty. We can't show up happy when we are mentally and physically tired to keep up with the standard set up by no one but other women.

We have to stop trying to be so flawless, showing others how easy we do it and how good we look while doing it. We have got to stop pretending we manage it all.

And here's the thing: the more we dissolve our essence in taking care of everyone's needs apart ours, the less we'll give to ourselves. And by doing so, slowly but steadily, we lose our divine, feminine power.

But maybe this isn't a matter of losing one's power; perhaps it's a matter of regaining one's strength.

❤️ Because if you're here to give to others, you're here to give to yourself first. You're here to do whatever it takes to nourish yourself. You're here to provide for your starving self. Better yet, to rise the above, even if you can't rise above anything just yet. Because the longer you resist giving yourself what you crave, the harder it will get.

This does not make you selfish. It then makes you a responsible human able to give out more as a result: more energy, more joy, more self to the family.

❤️ It begins with a grander vision for yourself. It starts with filtering out the noise, social and cultural expectations. It commences with turning the volume on what matters– the tiny dreamy voice inside us. The voice that whispers you've only scratched a surface of what purposeful life is all about.

Because it's okay to have dreams beyond your own home and family, but what's not okay is to lose yourself in the mists of taking care of everyone's needs but yours at the expense of your well-being, mental health, and happiness.

Maybe where you are is where you have to be. Perhaps you were made to bury your dreams for a while, or perhaps you didn't know what they were. But you always had that little voice whispering how you have so much more to offer to the world. Maybe you're on to something bigger, even if it's hard to see just yet. Possibly you weren't born to be the queen of everyone's hearts. More likely, a queen of your own life.

👑 And yes, I am here to say it out loud – within every woman, regardless of where she comes from, there is a queen or a goddess inside. And she isn't domestic. Maybe she's more like Joan of Arc or Lara Croft goddess, or perhaps she isn't. But only from that higher self standpoint can you discover who you are. Only from there, you'll find stubbornness, willpower to find the answers, to knock down the standard that tells you who you should be. Only then you'll find the strength to do what needs to be done to fill your cup of happiness.

Mind you; you're not required to save the world; you are invited to save yourself. Even if you no longer know who you are or you never did. Even if all you've done was to help others to make dreams happen, or maybe you never had a job because you couldn't find that one thing that fulfills you?

It does not matter at all. What matters is what you do from now on onward. What vision are you going to have for yourself and your family at large?

What are you going to do to bring more joy into your life?

Above all, you don't need anyone's permission to be happy. You have to allow yourself to receive joy and light. You have to begin anywhere– ideally today to take a step closer to your ideal self - to the woman that says yes to herself today, tomorrow, and for as long as she lives.

Lastly, when we permit ourselves to rise as women, we instantly become better, healthier, loving mothers and wives that our loved ones will be life-long fans of. We also teach them to, no matter what, never give up on ourselves, our dreams, passions, and contributions to the world.

🔥 And that, my friends, equals gold.

Laughing Is Hot And Healthy

Forget the fancy skincare promising you a golden glow. The real glow comes from one place only, and that's from within. 

Real glow can't be sold in a package of foundation or fancy powder I was thinking of getting for Christmas. 

We glow when we feel happy, satisfied with moments of life, and ourselves at large.

💖 True glow has energy like no other. It's real. 

It isn't always possible to feel happy at all times, but we can indeed feel better within seconds by simply changing our state. All we need to do is to stop whatever we're doing and do this instead: 

LAUGH out loud. Not like a crazy person but like a real person who finds things funny. Not for a second but for a real good minute. 

Laughing makes you GLOW because your body gets charged with feel-good hormones.

Also, did you know that ✅ The average 4-year-old laughs 300 times a day? The average 40-year-old? Only four. 

Shocking! 

Here's why we should laugh intensely, wildly, vividly more. 

🤣Laughing helps us to let go. Let go of physical tension, stress, fear, and depression. Laughter boosts the immune system and decreases stress hormones, which then helps to fight infection antibodies. 

😏 It just so happens that we lose the ability to laugh around 23 when we enter the workforce. Because we have yet to prove how professional, important we are, and from that point onwards, life's seriousness overtakes us. 

💖 A good, hearty laugh has so many benefits, which is why I felt called to remind myself that laughing from the heart is healthy and free. And more than ever, we shall look for more reasons to smile because it feels GOOD. 

🌸 Perhaps there isn't much to laugh about in this current state, but if we do make a conscious effort to lift our spirits and bursting with the exciting, contagious laugh, we may as well make a space for different energy to enter into our rooms. We may as well feel healthier, better, which is the point after all. 

💫 What would it feel like if we laughed like 5-year-olds today, and tomorrow, and the next? What would we all feel like? What would the world be like if laughter became, once again, our natural state?

Why I let This Sweater Go And Why You Should Do The Same

Another day I found this sweater that I purchased from a “ shady lady” in Paris. Shady because she seemed mysterious, strange in her ways, and the energy in her shop was interesting. The fact that I remember all of this truly means she was indeed different. ⚡️

This sweater has been with me through good and bad - long gone relationships, hangovers, me trying to find my “ thing” and a “right man” for myself. Even on a cold January day my daughter was born, it still lived in my closet. 

Then we moved to Florence and I found it again between my clothes. That thing has come with me this far. 

But just because something has been with me for this long does not mean it should continue to stay, collect dust, and many more memories. 💓

It was time to part our ways. 

There are so many things we collect. So many things that we keep thinking we’ll use one day. 

We rarely do. And not just in our closets. In our kitchens, in our drawers, in our shelves, in our, making us feeling guilty if we let something go.

But we must let things go because nothing is forever. Everything changes, transforms, changes its form. 

Also because in clean, free spaces we give more space for new things to enter. ✅

This does not mean we have to throw things away. Let go means we no longer possess them, we can give them a better life, a second life. 

Which is exactly what my sweater’s getting. 

What’s living in your closet?

Increase Achievement Of Your Dreams By 42% 💘

Creating dream boards and writing our goals down increase our chances of actually achieving them by 42%. 

I’ve created multiple dream boards throughout the years. They’ve changed so much as I no longer want to lose weight, travel every month, or get shiny bling to show off. Those days, thank God are behind me. 

I now want different things. 

The point is, we will indeed always want things. And writing them down or gluing pretty pictures representing your wildest goals means that you can visually see them. This may sound like a cliché but there’s huge power in it. 🚀

First of all, when we see something, it affects how we act. You’re more likely to start getting up and moving towards that direction. If you can see what you have to do, instead of just thinking about it - it all becomes more tangible.

✅ When you can see your goals daily, it creates a sense of urgency to move closer to achieving them.

✅ Written goals help you have a clear focus and stay on track. When your goals are clearly defined, it’s also easier to say no thanks to distractions.

✅ Moving your goals from your head to a written form reduces stress because you don’t have to hold all of these thoughts inside yourself anymore. You can then have control over your emotional reactions. Also, after accomplishing your goal, you feel more at peace with yourself.

🦋 And lastly, don’t forget to break your goals into smaller pieces so you save yourself a great piece of feeling overwhelmed. 

With that said, I shall start working on my next dream board. I’ll hang it up high so it shamelessly stares in my face daily. 

P.S. hot pictures help! I’ll buy some Italian magazines for this matter without the intention of ever reading them. 

Can’t wait! 

Don't Waste 2020 OR Any Other Year🍾

I get it. Legendary 2020 has been quite a game-changer for many of us mortals. At times it truly feels as we’ve been punished. But regardless of what losses we may have experienced this year- personal or social- life goes on.

🌗 𝑴𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏’𝒕.

Love isn’t paused. Relationships aren’t finished. Babies are being born and many of life’s future geniuses are quietly working on their next big things from HOME.

💫And the truth is many of those attention worth things are being created, mastered, learned, born at home. Because someone decided to use their time productively instead of coming up with lame excuses “ how we’ve got to wait until this thing gets over. “ 😤

❌ 2020 will be over and so will every next year that comes after this which is why I don’t want to wait until this gets over. I want to do things regardless of what year this is, or which moon phase this is, or what life throws at me.

𝐁𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐮𝐬. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐰 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐞’𝐯𝐞 𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭. 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬, 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐬, 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝.

🧚Because we’re only here for a minute so let’s stop wasting our time, waiting how this will pass, judging others how lucky they are by doing the things they love. Because if you’re reading this post- you have a minute to spare.

👀No one is lucky. Everyone works on the things that matter despite the uncertainty we are facing today. Because it will always be uncertain- today or 50 years from now. Because each moment is unknown.

𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 few 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫. 𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 😅𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞.

Ciao for now, 

I’m getting back to my things and babies💋

Why are we attracted to the wild opposites? 🔥

⚡️Because we are curious beings that crave excitement, mystery and passionate existence, that’s why! 

☄️Because we subconsciously look for a different way of being than the one we’re accustomed to back home. After all, it’s refreshing, exotic and certainly far from boring.

💥 So if you’re all those things above, you’re more likely to create a home with a foreign partner. This goes beyond just partners. This goes for everything you’re attracted to that’s foreign- another language, culture, country. 

I certainly did. I am not into boring. Not into stale, old school relationships. I’ve tried those in high school.  

So what am I into? 

🚀I’m into relaxed, fiery, and passionate personalities. Because where I’m from we’re more reserved, cold, diplomatic...designed to survive snow, harsh temperatures,  bears and all...🥶

😬When I met Lorenzo he had to teach me how to hug. Oh yea, I’m not kidding. 🙈I did not know how to hug another being. 

💖It’s been 4 years now that I learned how to hug, take life less seriously and treat food more religiously. 

🍝Oh no, I did not take up the house wives duties and started to cook. Sorry no dinner parties with me as a chef. I’ve never been into cooking, and maybe I’ll never be. 

Or maybe I’ll don’t need to because I have a God in the kitchen who, without a second of a doubt, loves to cook. 

💁‍♀️Guess I’ll never be hungry. That's as long as he can cook of course, never date a foreign person who can't cook. 😅

👩🏼‍🍳And I’ve been told you’ll never find a husband if you can’t cook... 

7 Things I Want To Tell To Younger Self

I was her. Lost, unsupported, live for the moment kind of girl. I am no longer this girl, but Here are 7 things I want to tell her. ✅🧨

1.    Damn, girl! You're so cute! Stop wishing you were thin and a model. ⁠ 

⁠

2. One day you'll figure out what you want to do with your life. It'll involve sharing the painful lessons you are currently learning. You will be writing, and it will be in English. You’ll put all of this into a book one day.

3. Choose to study first thing your heart tells you because you will get to make money from it one day. It’ll happen through doing things you love. Don’t worry about the “ how’s” for now. Just know your life, career will be awesome. ⁠

4. Don’t waste yourself on people, places and situations that aren’t aligned with who you are and where you want to be. And if you do, make sure you say bye to these things today. Then go out and treat yourself to the best personal growth investment you can find in the market, and wine. For once, you’re allowed to finish the whole damn bottle. Alone!

5. Every cent you make, invest it Facebook and Whatsupp shares. Even better, don’t waste money on bread, invest it in shares. Don’t worry about it, just trust me. ✅

6. Kid, never ever, even in your dreams, go to bed wearing mascara! Rip that off even if you can barely stand. The future will thank you.

7. Stop obsessing about finding the love of your life. It will find you. And don’t be scared of babies, they’re cute. ️

🧨( IMPORTANT) When A Student Is Ready, Teacher Appears. Don't ask what this means. You'll get this when it's time.) ⁠Until then, there’s SOULGIRL, this book that I wrote. For souls that don’t know where they’re going but are in the rush to get somewhere. It’s kind of a bible for every girl that I know. 

Search on Amazon. Soulgirl by Kristina Razinska.

Instead Of Fighting Your Ego, Make A Deal With It

Let’s start with the fact that your Ego is highly overprotective – destined to keep you safe, dull, and cautious. Its sense of control is contagious. It will do anything to sabotage your happiness, good mood, and kill your positive vibes every time you give in.

It’s by nature louder and has a persuasive tone.

Because it will call upon an egocentric part of you, it will never benefit your relationships, as it will make a vivid separation between you and others.

❌Within seconds it will provide you with many bulletproof reasons, arguments, and examples of how others mistreat you or are against you. Therefore, you absolutely must be ultra-selfish to survive in this world. Ego’s job is to try to save you from potential failures and situations where you might or might not get hurt. It swears by it and is on twentyfour-hour duty out there flashing monster-sized signs that read: ‘THIS IS DANGEROUS’, ‘STOP’, ‘DON’T GO THERE’, and ‘YOU WILL FAIL’. Any time you’re presented with an opportunity to grow, expand, take a risk, it will talk you out of it. ❌

It will convince you how scary, risky, and uncertain the move is. So, if you have big dreams, goals to achieve – it will be like hitting your head against the wall trying to get your Ego as excited about your idea as you are. It will not understand it because it does not have a capacity for understanding. And frankly speaking, that’s not its job.

It is its job, however, to focus on your weaknesses rather than your strengths. It will warn you to stay out of unknown terrain because you might be ridiculed, embarrassed, and disappointed. And when and if you fall, it will whisper: “You fool, I told you so!”In other words, it will keep you safe but unlikely fulfilled.

Because the universal truth states that if you protect yourself from failure, you will never reach your goals.🖤

In my personal life, I knew I was giving away too much power to my Ego, and it was about time to make some changes. Since Ego is incapable of teaching me the things I came to learn, I need to take the opposite path despite the warning fears my Ego is trying to thrust upon me.

So, I invited my Ego to speak up, possibly share a bottle of red. 🍷 We met in a fancy place of its choice because I know how much it loves to be in control of everything. We both dressed up for the occasion and prepared our speeches. 

Mine went like this:

🖤Dear Ego, I am very thankful to have you in my life because I know how much you care about me. Sometimes too much. Too intense, too extreme. At such times, I am suffocating in your care, unable to move forward. I think it’s essential to clear the air between us so we both can exist side-by-side without interfering. How incredibly liberating this would feel. Because I know that you aren’t walking out on me, ever, and I am not letting you go, because well, I need you, and I am also a human. 🖤

But I am going to say this – I don’t always need your well-wished opinions since those opinions block the light for me to see what’s best for me. When and if I am upset you don’t talk me out of it, you seem to make it more serious by setting up the binocular telescope and showing me everything in the worst possible light – how others hurt me, how sorry I should feel for myself, how no one cares, how I am always alone and lonely.

I can’t let you continue to decide what I am going to eat because I need to watch my diet, or what kind of unkind thing I should say to someone who hurt me, or what sort of behavior I should demonstrate to teach the bad guys a lesson. I can’t always roll up my sleeves and get my karate moves going to protect you, my dearest Ego.

💓Because I no longer want to feel lonely. I no longer want to fight and see the worst in people because I am just continuing to hurt myself this way – to keep anger, resentment, sabotaging my relationships, feeling defensive. I want to be gentle, compassionate, and open-minded, the person I already am. 💓

I know I won’t change in an instant, and at times, you’ll still be the one I’ll be listening to. It’s been a hell of a ride... but this is where I get off. From this point onwards, I have got to move on.

🌸I have got to see the beauty in me and those around me. Not everyone is out there to hunt me down. Not everyone is out there to hurt me. Some are here to love me and teach me how to love. I’ve got to train my heart muscle. Because I now know that the more it gets used, hurt, and recovered, the more capable it becomes of loving.🌸

The Ego sat there, nodding its head, and listening patiently.

“All right, I’ll back off a little. But I’ll never leave you because there is nothing else I know how to do.”

We cheered our glasses, finished our last sips, and then parted ways. And just like that, I went back to my soul. 💫

So if I was to make a bold declaration of who I am, here to stay, and how to live more soulfully, I had to do the following: I had to slow down rather than doing what I knew best: blazing through, all armed up, ready to pick up my swords. I was yet to shift from heavy to light, but I also knew that I am an endless work in process, and so are you.

I can no longer go on toughening up my exterior, thickening up my skin without giving a f*ck. Thinking that’s one of those things required for living.

I’m not here to fight, collect achievement medals, or get praised by strangers. I’m not here to attach my self-worth to external rewards or entertain alluring distractions.

I’m here to feel it all, never numbing, never chasing, but allowing the light and love planted deeply within me to shine through every step of the way.

🖤So yes, you shouldn’t give a f*ck too much, but you sure do always have to give a f*ck for yourself –your feelings, intuition, and inner knowing, which is your Northern Star. I haven’t yet come across a woman who doesn’t give a f*ck. No one is that confident, she’s just buried her power. Unquestionably, it’s suffocating her. 🖤

We're always Meant to go Somewhere and here's Why.

Five years ago, I arrived in London with a suitcase and a bruised heart. There was nothing particular about London that attracted me here: no Big Ben, no Buckingham palace, not its queen.

But I felt with all my heart that I'd been called to come here despite the unknown logical reasons.

I choose not to question the Universe and trust that my intuition knows more than I ever could.

Five years later, here I am again– leaving because something else is calling my heart. That something is still a mystery wrapped in excitement and possibility of what's yet to come.

My heart is nervously beating because I'm moving again. The funny part is that I just wrote a book about stepping into my zone of discomfort as often as possible is why I lead the most truthful and authentic life. And while I've done it so many times in the past, it doesn't get easier. Because now, for the first time in my life, I've planted my roots. I domesticated. I've acquired furniture and gave life to babies. It is no longer me, my thoughts, and a suitcase. It's a whole more of us with our own dreams and destinies on the line, which is why it feels so much harder.

While, of course, I'm excited about new beginnings - I always am, I'm also sad of what I'm leaving behind because I'm human - vulnerable and sensitive, just like the rest of us.

I don't seem to end a chapter of my life with a baby's birth or moving houses. I do mark my life's chapters with moving countries. Those are my seasons. Those are my endings and beginnings. Because as one season ends, the next immediately begins. I do not know what to expect, but there is this familiar feeling impatiently calling and pulling a rag underneath my feet, telling it's time to go. But above all, it's my mind, soul, and heart unitedly voting for me to let go. Let go of everything that no longer serves me.

Because I no longer want the same things. I now want greater things. I've become a giver, no longer taker.

A giver is responsible for the energy she brings to the world. She can't give if her energy jar is empty or flooded with old ideas, behaviors, ways of life, and outdated beliefs that drag her down. On the contrary, her energy jar must be filled with light and love so she can bring more of this into the world. This world is thirsty for love, and it's our responsibility to give more of it.

To give, we have to have the capacity to receive. To receive, we need to swirl freely in a flow of life. And we can't be in a flow of life if we are struggling, fighting, resisting life to flood through us. We need to trust life's divine guidance wherever it may bring us. We need to begin listening carefully to what our heart is trying to say. Because it's always saying something, it's always telling what needs to be done. It suffers when we're trying hard to cling onto the wrong things.

Perhaps those things aren't ours to keep because it shouldn't be a struggle to keep if they were. Living for over thirty years on this planet, I've learned something. Change is inventible if living is what we're after, not pure existing in a warm cocoon-like climate. Change comes into our lives with a never-ending invitation to transform everything on its way, including you. It is reminding that there is a deadline, after all, almost to everything. It is flashing out everything that you no longer need. All you can do is trust the process and believe that it's guiding you towards the exact place you're meant to be at.

Because the future is always calling. Whether you're ready or not.

We change, mature, and evolve, which is why we shouldn't be afraid of change and transformation because every now and then, there is a unique path being forged to be walked by no one but you. When we trust our hearts, we receive cosmic, divine, bountiful energy to start new things. We are fuelled with purpose. We are truly in the moment. And as we do that, we sync back with nature's natural rhythms and connect to life's heartbeat. And just like that, we step into the flow of life. There we are unstoppable.

While reliving all the emotions when faced with change, I'm also feeling peaceful because I'm at home in my mind, body, and soul. And when you have that– you'll never be lost, wherever life may bring you.

I'm ready to step into a new path that is larger, deeper, and more connected to the larger whole. I trust what's to come is greater than me; therefore, I'm pulled to leave the life I built. So while I'm sipping my last cup of tea and munching on a biscuit in England, I surrender. I accept and welcome the change with open arms because I know it so intimately, after all. I greet it with a smile and a full heart.

Bye, London for now. Ciao Italy.

Is this our punishment or Earth's cry for help?

🥂 Wearing sequence and a lot of hope, we were ready to blow the doors of another year. We cheered upon a big dose of inspiration and champagne haze. Make it big and loud, 2020 is approaching, they said.

And then, under the firework covered fumes, we kissed and hugged while you were shattered on the dirty floor, drowning in tears, suffocating. We didn't check on you then, not ever. This is likely because we chose to be ignorant, blind, irresponsibly drunk.

🔥 We use you, abuse you, expecting you'll do this forever - patiently wait. And although you whispered, then knocked, we pretended we weren't home. Until you shook the grounds underneath our feet, let oceans get wild and fires outraged.

We continued ungratefully taking, robbing what's yours because the greed to have more has been cemented into our DNA, and therefore it's so hard to let go... Rejecting the signs that you too had enough, that you also bleed, and you too change.

We were too busy to listen, too consumed making a difference in the world by completely ignoring the world. Because in the end, we didn't think we need your blessings.

Yet the clock was ticking, and you kept spinning, trying to gasp for more air, watching parts of you vanish and die. All while we heartlessly went on chasing our goals and showing off our shells, thinking you'd understand.

After all, there's never-ending pressure to show up, perform, provide.

We thought we're too advanced, educated, and too cool to go back to the basics. We're too rich to live with little. We're too fancy to eat plain. But we're so big on the complaint.

But maybe you too had enough of being sad, devastated, and crushed. Maybe this is our time to wake up and see the bold message of your suffering, pain, and presence. Perhaps before we can save you, we shall save ourselves.

I couldn't help but wonder if this is our punishment or Earth's cry for help?

Is this a payback for our selfish sins or a tip of an iceberg for what's to come?

Because you know not all of us will survive. Many are being taken away too fast, too soon without us being able to say our goodbyes. This made us ill, worried, unsafe—the power we had been suddenly taken away.

You've taken it all in your strong veiny arms, holding it tight. You have chained our ankles to our homes and forced us to be. You've asked us nothing, but to pace around in our rooms. And there are questions and fears, and the dreadful burden of being ourselves.

🙏 Nevertheless, in this vagueness of the future, I'd like to be fierce in my faith stronger than I ever have. I want to revisit my tenderness and open the doors of kindness to those that need it the most. I want to awaken my consciousness towards how I was put on this Earth to give. And most of all, I'd like to take upon responsibilities we're all given, just forgotten to practice.

This isn't about today and tomorrow. This is about forever, for as long as we live and are allowed to breathe.

🙏 Because the truth of the matter is, these inescapable circumstances are urges to awaken our senses and fulfill our roles in departments of humanity. We are no longer invited but forced to step in and become aware members of the world, maximizing our gentleness, opening our hearts. Changing our ways, and above all, taking care of the planet, so in return, it can take care of us too.

But for now, for the first time in our lifetimes, we're asked to participate in a life-changing cause to save lives by doing nothing but staying put, still and present.

💓 And just like that, I am beginning to write my vows: I never promise to be a perfect human, but I promise to be more caring, conscious, and present, blessed with far more than I've ever acknowledged. Who has unshakable faith that this too will pass and life will resume as normal.

💓 But the mortal selves do not come back to orderly. We come back enlightened and grounded, appreciating the air we can breathe, bringing more goodness, and never again forgiving our kindness.

5 Things I Would Have Never Learned Had I Never Became A Parent

Hello there, I became a mom!

💖My precious little angel named Sofia was born on January 19, 2019, and since that day at 4:30 am to be exact, my life changed to the extent I haven't been imagining.

I went into motherhood blindly without any expectations and purposely closed my eyes and ears to stories that I heard from fellow mamas. Because lesson number one: stop forcing your reality on others. Every experience we have is so unique that it's impossible to predict what your baby is going to behave like, what you will be feeling, and how well you will be adjusting to a life-altering role as a mother.

Universally though, the life, as you knew it, gets paused and very possibly transformed because in an instant it's no longer about you anymore. Your needs, wants and dreams have to be put on hold (for a few months at least) until you figure out when in the day there's time to squeeze in "me time."

From what I know, women are great at multitasking, but mothers take it to the whole other level.

🍓 I've mastered to have breakfast at the same time my baby does. I get to eat a bowl of porridge every morning ( tale says it increases your milk supply) while breastfeeding my little bundle. Lunches are harder because it's way harder to hold a fork rather than a spoon trying to twirl spaghetti or scoop up a lettuce leaf. (The life of a mother is endlessly glamorous.)

My new reality gets messy but is the most beautiful reality I've ever known. Because it showed me things I would have never learned had I never became a parent.

1. Time is one of the most valuable currencies there is because every moment we have is non-returnable.

Seeing how quickly Sofia grows made me realize nothing stays still. We should hold on to our moments for a little longer because they too will pass. Time has a tendency to fade away even the most vivid memories we live because it knows no difference between good or bad. Everything we see, feel, or hear goes away, and just like that we wake up 10 years older but not necessarily wiser.

🖤 I realized how much free time I had before I had a child that I wasted on activities, people, and places that weren't right for my inner self nor was aligned with my values or brought me anywhere closer to my dreams. But hey, we all need everybody to have their time and their moment.

2. Love is the most important human experience. Love is what holds the world together.

🖤 Without love, we are lost. It is not something you give or get, instead - you nurture and grow. And I now love like I didn't know was possible.

3. Nobody is going to come and crown you. You have to do that yourself.

I rarely sleep longer than to a 3-4 hour at a stretch. I put a facial cream on my toothbrush another day. But then I look at this generous baby smile and repeat to myself that this is all worth it. We don't always get appreciated and thanked for what we do for our children, but we have to do it anyway. Because being a mother means to be attentive, responsible, available...

4. If I could bring another human into this world, nothing is impossible.

🖤 Every woman that has squeezed another human out of her body is supreme. Because there is nothing as painful as childbirth. It requires to gather all the powers that you think you don't own and use them all. Turns out, you can bring life regardless of the pain you have to go through. If you can do that, what else can you do?

5. It's what you learn about yourself along the way.

🖤And my final discovery is that it's not about the mother that has love to give when she is rested, fulfilled, and cheerful. It's about a mother that is exhausted, sleep-deprived, and isolated that manages to give it all. That's where I learned patience, strength, and resilience. I came to understand that no matter how tired I am, I still got to show up each time and to give my best. And that's what I choose over and over again.

P.S I got rewarded. Sofia sleeps through the night at three months. Thanks baby!🖤

How Positive Pregnancy Test Changed My Destiny

He stood there vulnerable waiting under that bathroom door.

When my anxious suspicion was confirmed, I felt everything a human can experience: the chills up the arms, the nervous stomach, the dizzy thoughts, that feeling of falling into love.

🖤 And there it was, a moment that will forever change us.🖤

It's about the sobering news that God has sent me the most significant gift one can ever give.

💫 I was shaking in my shoes and sweating in my palms because of what this represented for me. 💫

It brought up the most boring instinct we all possess- big, fat fear.

I was terrified of the word “forever” because nothing else in my life had represented that until now. More accurately, the idea of having a baby in my mind was almost equal to getting a tattoo on my face.

I was frightened to have my wings clipped and scared out of my skin to let go of the life I knew. Because that meant moving on which deep down terrified me.

Although the most turbulent years were far behind me, and I felt much more centered, I wasn't ready to be a mom. So I thought.

Because to be a mom meant to be attentive, responsible, available...

For weeks I was in denial. Possibly because I was trying to hold on to the life I knew that was so fast sliding away from the tips of my fingernails. 💫

I couldn't believe what was going on and was wondering if this miracle has accidentally knocked on the wrong door, or was I chosen by higher powers to create a life? 💫

As I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, I saw a 30-year-old woman that has lived a little. A woman who's qualified enough to write a book about the past five lives she has lived.

And although there were still so many more things she wanted to do; a baby would never interfere. Because as a firm believer in the right timing, I couldn't bear to live with the thought that I could be the same person yet for another year. After all, we're meant to evolve.

My defenses started to shrink, and my anxieties eased.

💖 I realized that this miracle is boldly staring in my face wholly choosing me with all my insecurities, doubts, and self-invented emotional frustrations. 💖 

So I chose to fully embrace and accept that the future was about to change for something greater.

Even if that meant going off the radar for a while because the next chapter required me to be a little bit quieter, less accessible, and more private.

Maybe we cling so much to our past all to find out that what the future has for us is much more meaningful.

Because at the end of our days it's not about what titles we collected or what career milestones we reached, or in what countries bank accounts we hold. It's about having a simple human experience while figuring out the rest. It's about the legacy we leave that is by far more significant than fame or money.

Things were good. I was lucky to stand by a man who's ready to take me as I am without changing a cell in me. It takes a while to get here, and if you know anything about my story, you know my path wasn't necessarily covered in rose petals and dancing unicorns high-fiving me along the way.

💖  When I spilled the news to my friends over one of those Sex And The City-like lunches, we all knew it's an end of an era as one of us was moving a giant step forward towards becoming a mother.

And it was me - a girl that would never miss a party.

I didn't want to be a girl who stayed too long at the party. 💖 

The following months were filled with a joy of expectations, scans, and hormonal tears. But I won't trade it all for alluring distractions and social invitations as I allowed myself to begin dreaming of this new world.

Do you know what I learned since that fateful day?

That every kick, every uncomfortable move, and potential stretch mark made me realize I am carrying a warm and pulsating entity inside. A real human with its very own dreams, goals, and ambitions that has nothing to do with me.

So I may not interfere. Most of all, I'm ready... like 39 weeks ready.

With love,

Kristina

End Hate. Learn Patience And Faith.

Thanks to the technological evolution of the instant gratification our generation is more depressed than ever. Because the world where we live in is under constant pressure to be and do more.

Is this idea - that the things we crave for have to manifest in our lives immediately - is what destroys our self-esteem and confidence in the long run.

🦋 We no longer understand the concept of patience and faith. We get obsessed with speeding things up, looking for shortcuts to save time and money. 🦋

As a result, we become more desperate than ever. We start questioning ourselves even more, therefore, killing any chances of achieving our goals. All because we attach our self-worth to external rewards or their lack of.

And just when things can't get any worse, one morning you scroll down your feed discovering that somebody else has gotten that promotion you wanted, has started your gluten-free cookie business, has written that self -help book, or launched your dream product/service online.

They are proudly collecting victories in their professional and personal lives flashing it all over their social media channels making you feel lower than ever.

And although we wish them well, if they are our friends, somehow it gets more difficult to swallow yet another declaration of someone's success. Because it's easier to compare. Because it feels better to judge. Because it feels liberating to gossip. And by doing so, we get in the mood to ruin our lives, literally. Furthermore, we're poisoning our mind completely eliminating what’s even possible for us at this stage.

" Somebody else got mine."

" There's never be enough of anything to go around."

Because somewhere along the way you've convinced yourself that you've been robbed when you haven't, in fact, been robbed.

🦋 You forget that the success of others is an example of what's possible. If someone else can do it, you can do it too. You can cherish others for their achievements acknowledging the fact that there is plenty of room for everyone including you. 🦋

You can choose to believe that you are neither a slave to the evolution of social media nor its master. Be its partner.

💓 When you shift these thoughts to the partnership instead, when you're ready to work with the idea of what's possible for you, you experience immediate relief. Life as you know it will start to unfold in unexpected ways. 💓

Because underneath it all, the truth is that - your life and your path are one of a kind. It's not a race, it's a journey that cannot be compared to others. Because we are on different timelines. The timeline to our own victories can't be measured by a certain age, amount of time, religion, or education.

Your and my journeys are never meant to be the same. It doesn't mean there will be less left for you if I'll get there first. We can't arrive there together because it's not in our powers to control the circumstances, law of nature, the Universe, or the gods.

We've got to be learning patience and faith boldly trusting our journey that no matter what, we'll get there whenever the time is right. Because everything happening around you is happening for you. Even if you don't understand it yet.

💓 Therefore don't pressure yourself to tick yet another goal off your checklist thinking that everything needs to happen right now this moment. Don't rage at the gods above. Don't put the hate on destiny. Don't overthink that there is something wrong with you because there is nothing wrong with you. 💓

Everything needs to happen at its own speed. It's a rocky road of thousand steps each closer to the ultimate place you want to reach.

Work with all your heart. Show up for your work day after day with stubbornness and trust, and I promise that one day you'll wake up feeling more accomplished, completed, and whole. One day you'll proudly share your idea, your invention with the world too. Or you'll choose not to because approval of others will no longer matter.

What matters the most, there'll be no more internal demons to fight, no more painful detours to make and the whole future will look a whole lot better.

🌹 But it starts now with letting go off the idea of having it all this instant. Do your part and Universe will do its part. Because everything happening around you is happening for you. 🌹

With love and faith,

Kristina

🔥 You Only Love Three Times In A Lifetime🔥

Someone cheats, someone leaves, and someone's sobbing on that bathroom floor ready to sell their soul to have that thing for one more time...the thing called love. 

💔 Not all love stories have happy endings. Some don't have the endings. 💔

And then there are those that bring hope and faith that somewhere out there, someone is patiently waiting for you.

Waiting for you to collect pain and disappointments so that you know what happiness truly means. Most importantly, so you understand - why it never worked out with anyone else.

Furthermore, you can't jump ahead until the end of the book and miss out on all the lessons love's here to give.  You have to live each chapter to the fullest, even if that means going off the track without guarantees and promises of happily ever after.

Because I now know - in love - you never go off the track. 
You only move forward getting closer to the kind of love that is once in a lifetime. The kind that shakes the ground making you unlearn everything you've once learned. 

It forces you to love stronger and go further. 

💘 It teaches you to become a person that isn't afraid of loud sounds, risky decisions, or big love. 💘

Because what matters the most is that at the end of your days, you'll thank love for having blessed you with a passionate existence even if it wasn't always right or healthy. 

There are three greatest loves in our lifetime.

The very first one arrives unannounced inviting you on an unexpected Disney ride. You're ready to jump in without buckling up, without knowing where this ride may lead. 
Then you head off together- you and love and excitement - side by side, heading into stimulating waters of unknown outcome. 

💘 It feels heavenly while it lasts to do the forbidden things: to make goals, to give promises and vows you'll never keep.  And yet, you want to hold on to it forever.  💘

Some first loves live for months, some for years, some few decades.  

They mark how far you've come and how far you still have to go. You then realize that you can't go back in time, but maybe you can go forward. 

💥 Then comes the second, the hardest of all. It's here to serve the purpose you do not know. It soaks you all in.  It consumes your mind, life, and heart.   You know in your head that this is bad news, and you should probably walk away forever, but the unknown powers always lure you back. 💥

 It's here to make you feel the highs and the lows of life.  It gives you a glimpse of who you can be and who you no longer want to be. 
 
 💔 It's here to squeeze all you've got until one day you've got nothing. Until you no longer can go on, and everything that you so religiously hanged on to, you now are ready to let go,  walking out with nothing but a suitcase. Leaving all behind without knowing what's next. 💔

You'll feel sorry for yourself and the time that so unapologetically went by. You hope on time's healing powers to forgive and forget the love you've consciously signed up for despite the warnings of your soul, your friends, and family. 

Months later, the dots will connect. And although you'll still be walking through molded waters, you'll finally start seeing clear waters on the horizons.  

In life, we don't always get what we deserve. But we almost always get what we need.

And so comes the third, the greatest of all. 
It will feel scary and exciting altogether, yet natural and unforced. Everything just organically falling into its place. 

💥 Although there'll be icebergs and obstacles on their way suggesting you listen to your vulnerable Ego, pride, or conscious mind, you won't let it go so smoothly.  Over time, you may go separate ways for a while, but in the end, there'll be an unexplainable force pulling you back into each other's arms over and over again. 💥

Long-lasting love is here to show who you are. It's here to reveal what matters. It'll ask you out of your comfort zone. It'll push you against the walls of your true potential, you've never touched. Lastly,  it'll give you a chance to grow up.  

And although there were certain questions and unresolved issues, I shudder at what I almost lost if I had walked away because of that. 

Had I been more prideful and fearful, somewhere in the world today (probably in a tiny cramped room of a London apartment ) there would still be a single woman wandering the streets of a city in hopes to find love. 

So I urge you to forget your small thoughts. Forget the logic. Trust the feeling which is guiding you someplace magical through the signals of love. And maybe this time around, you won't get a fantastic Disney roller coaster, but you most certainly will wake up to a Disney sunset. And that, my friends, is Big Love. 💓💓💓

Love It Or Hate It, Timing Really Is Everything

Dating market can be very mysterious because...to say it gently -we're all screwed up royally somehow, sometime, someplace. 

We’re walking around with tons of emotional baggage unpacking it slowly in the front of the others.

I meet so many fantastic souls that are about to get their love dreams dashed and illusions shattered into pieces because not all relationships are destined to have long and prosperous lives. 

Want to know why timing is everything? Read on:

Themes are overlapping throughout the relationships, and I’ve seen that deep down, behind every cultural difference, value, birthplace, and current state, we deal with the same problem.

Timing is everything. 

It is one of the Gods that knows whether or not a relationship has a chance to last. In reality, you either thank, hate or blame the timing. 

It is challenging to build a long lasting relationship if mental places where you and your potential partner stand are far away from each other. Two people coming together have their own inner clock ticking faster or slower determinating what they think, how they feel and what they want the next couple years to look like.

 If one is mentally mature to commit to an everlasting relationship, he/she will behave accordingly. If he isn't, he will act like he isn’t. 

None of them are wrong.  

It’s just that you're heading East while he is leading South. In such instance, it's going to take some time to arrive at the same destination, if ever. 

It doesn't mean that relationship won't be able to form as in life there are always exceptions and second chances. However, we count those along one's fingers.

Maybe you got out of a serious relationship. If so, you aren’t in a state to commit straight away either. You feel bit sore, or even foreign in the land of dating. And that's Okay. 

You need time.

You may go on dates, but even then, you aren’t going to be the most live, energized, and vibrant yourself. 

The guy, on the other hand, perhaps been single for a year and is looking for a serious girlfriend. Timing is mismatched again.

It's logical to feel lost in your mind, heart and often streets after a breakup. 

You may not sign up for a trip to a frozen section picking up your favorite ice cream. Instead, you give up carbs and decide to move on.  

It's no secret, many of us turn to the most convenient medicine of the time - some trending dating app promising an exciting life and keeping our ego high.

As you get out there, they bombard you with questions that sound more like job interviews but with cocktails. Towards the end of the night, one would ask: “ So what is that you’re looking for?”

You keep blinking your eyes, readjusting core, taking another sip of Pinot Grigio while trying to win time to come up with a valid answer. 

“ What am I looking for?” 

You repeat the question and clear your throat. The deeper you look into their eyes, the less you know.

Here you are, with a perfect looking date that seems to put a firing gun straight to your forehead. You don't know what to say. You don't even know how to answer this question to yourself. 

You've got a perfect excuse: You're new to dating slowly dipping toes in fresh waters. 

Deep down you know you aren't ready for anything serious. This is an honest moment revealing the ultimate truth- it’s going to take some time until you're ready to date again. 

Maybe you can relate.

There are seasons in life that aren't about finding yet another relationship. There are seasons where we are given an opportunity to know ourselves better. Getting clear on what is that we want. 

The truth is, any person that could have tried to get close to you in a season that wasn't for love, had no real chance to do so because emotionally you were unavailable. 

And there is so many of us.

I've been on both sides and therefore with no second of doubt know that timing is one of the most crucial things in life. Timing decides whether or not your potential date can have the future. 

I don't believe in saying that you never meet right people at a wrong time. However, I know that if two people are meant to be together, they will meet again at the time when it will feel right. 

As I look at the parade of failed relationships, I realized that we should be honest to ourselves and others expressing our seasons of life and not being scared to be rejected, judged, or misunderstood. 

And as one season will end, there always be the next.

So in closing, I'd like to wish that you too meet someone who isn't plastering you like a band-aid over the fresh wounds but instead is ready to walk with you to the moon and back while holding on to this season of love.

xoxo

Kristina

Revealing Truth Why I choose To Date Foreign

With all due respect to my upbringing, I am bold enough to say that I prefer to eat, date and love foreign.

See, we all are curious to a certain extent. Some more. Some less.

Choosing people you call your friends, boyfriends, and girlfriends are conscious choices in life. They must deserve the title. You may share similar values, interests, and future goals.

But what if, we would choose friends and our dates by slightly different criteria.  

1. Dating a foreigner takes us out of established and limiting roles in our culture.

You can start dating someone fresh without stale cultural expectations, behaviors, or norms. You can experience all of the shades of intense and amazing. 

You get to select what works and what doesn't. Which rules to implement and which to discard. It gives an opportunity to shape the relationship that fits your needs. 

 You don't have to pop up babies at the age of 25 just because it's a cultural expectation. Or you don't have to delay the babies because it's a norm in your country to build a career that others envy. 

If everything goes well, your partner will leave some of their cultural expectations behind while you would be doing the same. Together you'll be able to build a solid ground while creating stimulating traditions that connect both on a much deeper level.

2. Dating a Foreigner showers you with lessons. 

Every dating experience is a classroom filled with tests and quizzed you either pass or fail. Every foreign dating relationship is a classroom teaching all the same except the subjects are taught in a language that isn't your own. It sure may be challenging at times, but so much more rewarding as long as you keep your mind open and heart available. 

Because dating a foreigner will get your palms a little sweaty. 
There will be plenty of awkward moments, misunderstandings, and even arguments. 

Same as there will be plenty of funny seasons, unforgettable times and laughs that will seriously flip-flop your stomach upside down. 

As it turns out, love can be served in a hundred and one variations. You don't have to stick with steamed broccoli and highly nutritious kale if that's not your jam. You can indeed have roasts with garnish. You're allowed to feel spice in the tongue and chills in the stomach if that lights you up. 

It may be a lot of times easier to date and even build a family with someone who was born in the same time zone as you, under the same angle of the moon, ate the same foods, watched the same cartoons and yet...to me this isn't better.

Because...

When two people come together from different backgrounds, they may develop something unique, one of a kind.

What's even better - you get to pick and choose what you want your relationship to become. 

3.  Your identity will change when dating a foreigner.

In the beginning, you may feel like a cat in a jacuzzi, but that's Okay, because dating foreign means stepping out of your comfort zone. 

Anything that involves leaving comfort behind equals to the growth. It trains you to expand your mind. When you expand your mind, it stretches, and it can never go back to where it was. 

When this happens, you become an entirely different person that is free to live whichever way works best. 

There will be most powerful breakthroughs and realizations. You'll get to know you and find out parts of your self you didn't know you ever had.  You'll face unexpected situations, and they all- will make you mature in unexpected ways.

4. You will have a growing appreciation for foreign culture.

You'll acquire contrasting mannerism, behaviors, and expressions.

At times you'll want to open your eyes wide open, at others, you will want to laugh or cry. You'll hear phrases that don't make sense. Then one day, you'll find out that these exact differences are the real reasons why you were attracted to them in the first place!

They may teach you warmth. You may teach stability. They may encourage you and introduce you to things you didn't know existed. 

5. There's no going back.

Actually, you'll try to go back. I couldn't though. 

People that are led by their curiosity on average live more adventurous and colorful life because they accustomed discovering what makes their hearts race faster. 

Every new day is an opportunity to discover something tasty, something special, something that will stir your heart.

People don't date a foreigner because their own kind isn't satisfying; they date a person holding a foreign passport because curiosity guides them to grass-growing destinations demanding to explore their hearts. They are willing to no matter what the difficulties, the risks, or the costs enter the field of the unknown and sip as much as they can out of it feeding their intrigued souls.

On some other planet, in some other lifetime, perhaps I'll stick to what I know. But in this one, I'm taking wild leaps. I choose to pursue whatever fascinates and brings me to life... and that it is the unknown. 

What's more, I have chosen to believe that a desire towards wanderlust was encoded into my DNA for reasons I will never know. 

But one thing I know for sure - your heart is sending you messages in every form it can - through a series of thoughts, sensations, dreams, signs, and attractions begging you to listen. 

The more tuned you become at listening, the more sensational and liberating becomes your existence.✅

With endless love,

XO

Kristina