Why You Should be Mothering Yourself

You deserve all the love in the world, darling. 

You deserve to be seen, heard, understood, and deeply cared for at all times. 

You deserve to be held tightly on those dark, lonely nights. 

You deserve all the love and some more combined in this world. 

And you get to have it all, if only you nurture and mother yourself, darling. 

Because the truth is: You will chase this feeling of love, and even when seemingly found, something won't feel right. 

Simply because if you cant nurture and mother yourself, you will never feel fully loved. Completely understood. Wholly enough. Entirely deserving of love. 

And that's the saddest part of it all... because you deserve all this love and some more. 

Mother-daughter relationships need some healing for many of us- whether you had the world's best or worst mother. Because let's be honest for a second - she wasn't a hero, nor a superhuman. She was only a human with her own pains and wounds to heal. Not perfect or loved enough by those who came before her. 

Until she had you... until you chose to come here to learn and to grow. Out of all the mothers you could have had, you chose her. With all her flaws and imperfections, this woman birthed you to this world and gave you life. 

Even if she did her very best, she couldn't possibly give you all that you needed, most likely because she longed for the very same things, maybe even more. 

But you do get to choose. Choose to meet your own needs and to give yourself all that you craved. Give yourself love, care, attention, and quality time. 

You can choose to love yourself and her because she did her best when she could have given her worst. 

She taught you lessons directly or indirectly- something that will always be a part of you. 

Ask yourself, what did she teach you? 

What did you crave the most as a child? Think of ways you can give it to yourself today and for as long as you live.

If your mother was a child, what would you teach her? How would you love her?

Care for yourself deeply, darling, because no one else can give you what you need the most.

Sing to yourself. Care for yourself. Adore yourself. Shower yourself in softness, compassion, devotion, and attention you always wanted.

And while you are at it, send some love to your mother. Chances are, if you need this deeply, she probably does too...

Why are we attracted to the wild opposites? 🔥

⚡️Because we are curious beings that crave excitement, mystery and passionate existence, that’s why! 

☄️Because we subconsciously look for a different way of being than the one we’re accustomed to back home. After all, it’s refreshing, exotic and certainly far from boring.

💥 So if you’re all those things above, you’re more likely to create a home with a foreign partner. This goes beyond just partners. This goes for everything you’re attracted to that’s foreign- another language, culture, country. 

I certainly did. I am not into boring. Not into stale, old school relationships. I’ve tried those in high school.  

So what am I into? 

🚀I’m into relaxed, fiery, and passionate personalities. Because where I’m from we’re more reserved, cold, diplomatic...designed to survive snow, harsh temperatures,  bears and all...🥶

😬When I met Lorenzo he had to teach me how to hug. Oh yea, I’m not kidding. 🙈I did not know how to hug another being. 

💖It’s been 4 years now that I learned how to hug, take life less seriously and treat food more religiously. 

🍝Oh no, I did not take up the house wives duties and started to cook. Sorry no dinner parties with me as a chef. I’ve never been into cooking, and maybe I’ll never be. 

Or maybe I’ll don’t need to because I have a God in the kitchen who, without a second of a doubt, loves to cook. 

💁‍♀️Guess I’ll never be hungry. That's as long as he can cook of course, never date a foreign person who can't cook. 😅

👩🏼‍🍳And I’ve been told you’ll never find a husband if you can’t cook... 

7 Things I Want To Tell To Younger Self

I was her. Lost, unsupported, live for the moment kind of girl. I am no longer this girl, but Here are 7 things I want to tell her. ✅🧨

1.    Damn, girl! You're so cute! Stop wishing you were thin and a model. ⁠ 

⁠

2. One day you'll figure out what you want to do with your life. It'll involve sharing the painful lessons you are currently learning. You will be writing, and it will be in English. You’ll put all of this into a book one day.

3. Choose to study first thing your heart tells you because you will get to make money from it one day. It’ll happen through doing things you love. Don’t worry about the “ how’s” for now. Just know your life, career will be awesome. ⁠

4. Don’t waste yourself on people, places and situations that aren’t aligned with who you are and where you want to be. And if you do, make sure you say bye to these things today. Then go out and treat yourself to the best personal growth investment you can find in the market, and wine. For once, you’re allowed to finish the whole damn bottle. Alone!

5. Every cent you make, invest it Facebook and Whatsupp shares. Even better, don’t waste money on bread, invest it in shares. Don’t worry about it, just trust me. ✅

6. Kid, never ever, even in your dreams, go to bed wearing mascara! Rip that off even if you can barely stand. The future will thank you.

7. Stop obsessing about finding the love of your life. It will find you. And don’t be scared of babies, they’re cute. ️

🧨( IMPORTANT) When A Student Is Ready, Teacher Appears. Don't ask what this means. You'll get this when it's time.) ⁠Until then, there’s SOULGIRL, this book that I wrote. For souls that don’t know where they’re going but are in the rush to get somewhere. It’s kind of a bible for every girl that I know. 

Search on Amazon. Soulgirl by Kristina Razinska.

How Positive Pregnancy Test Changed My Destiny

He stood there vulnerable waiting under that bathroom door.

When my anxious suspicion was confirmed, I felt everything a human can experience: the chills up the arms, the nervous stomach, the dizzy thoughts, that feeling of falling into love.

🖤 And there it was, a moment that will forever change us.🖤

It's about the sobering news that God has sent me the most significant gift one can ever give.

💫 I was shaking in my shoes and sweating in my palms because of what this represented for me. 💫

It brought up the most boring instinct we all possess- big, fat fear.

I was terrified of the word “forever” because nothing else in my life had represented that until now. More accurately, the idea of having a baby in my mind was almost equal to getting a tattoo on my face.

I was frightened to have my wings clipped and scared out of my skin to let go of the life I knew. Because that meant moving on which deep down terrified me.

Although the most turbulent years were far behind me, and I felt much more centered, I wasn't ready to be a mom. So I thought.

Because to be a mom meant to be attentive, responsible, available...

For weeks I was in denial. Possibly because I was trying to hold on to the life I knew that was so fast sliding away from the tips of my fingernails. 💫

I couldn't believe what was going on and was wondering if this miracle has accidentally knocked on the wrong door, or was I chosen by higher powers to create a life? 💫

As I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, I saw a 30-year-old woman that has lived a little. A woman who's qualified enough to write a book about the past five lives she has lived.

And although there were still so many more things she wanted to do; a baby would never interfere. Because as a firm believer in the right timing, I couldn't bear to live with the thought that I could be the same person yet for another year. After all, we're meant to evolve.

My defenses started to shrink, and my anxieties eased.

💖 I realized that this miracle is boldly staring in my face wholly choosing me with all my insecurities, doubts, and self-invented emotional frustrations. 💖 

So I chose to fully embrace and accept that the future was about to change for something greater.

Even if that meant going off the radar for a while because the next chapter required me to be a little bit quieter, less accessible, and more private.

Maybe we cling so much to our past all to find out that what the future has for us is much more meaningful.

Because at the end of our days it's not about what titles we collected or what career milestones we reached, or in what countries bank accounts we hold. It's about having a simple human experience while figuring out the rest. It's about the legacy we leave that is by far more significant than fame or money.

Things were good. I was lucky to stand by a man who's ready to take me as I am without changing a cell in me. It takes a while to get here, and if you know anything about my story, you know my path wasn't necessarily covered in rose petals and dancing unicorns high-fiving me along the way.

💖  When I spilled the news to my friends over one of those Sex And The City-like lunches, we all knew it's an end of an era as one of us was moving a giant step forward towards becoming a mother.

And it was me - a girl that would never miss a party.

I didn't want to be a girl who stayed too long at the party. 💖 

The following months were filled with a joy of expectations, scans, and hormonal tears. But I won't trade it all for alluring distractions and social invitations as I allowed myself to begin dreaming of this new world.

Do you know what I learned since that fateful day?

That every kick, every uncomfortable move, and potential stretch mark made me realize I am carrying a warm and pulsating entity inside. A real human with its very own dreams, goals, and ambitions that has nothing to do with me.

So I may not interfere. Most of all, I'm ready... like 39 weeks ready.

With love,

Kristina

🔥 You Only Love Three Times In A Lifetime🔥

Someone cheats, someone leaves, and someone's sobbing on that bathroom floor ready to sell their soul to have that thing for one more time...the thing called love. 

💔 Not all love stories have happy endings. Some don't have the endings. 💔

And then there are those that bring hope and faith that somewhere out there, someone is patiently waiting for you.

Waiting for you to collect pain and disappointments so that you know what happiness truly means. Most importantly, so you understand - why it never worked out with anyone else.

Furthermore, you can't jump ahead until the end of the book and miss out on all the lessons love's here to give.  You have to live each chapter to the fullest, even if that means going off the track without guarantees and promises of happily ever after.

Because I now know - in love - you never go off the track. 
You only move forward getting closer to the kind of love that is once in a lifetime. The kind that shakes the ground making you unlearn everything you've once learned. 

It forces you to love stronger and go further. 

💘 It teaches you to become a person that isn't afraid of loud sounds, risky decisions, or big love. 💘

Because what matters the most is that at the end of your days, you'll thank love for having blessed you with a passionate existence even if it wasn't always right or healthy. 

There are three greatest loves in our lifetime.

The very first one arrives unannounced inviting you on an unexpected Disney ride. You're ready to jump in without buckling up, without knowing where this ride may lead. 
Then you head off together- you and love and excitement - side by side, heading into stimulating waters of unknown outcome. 

💘 It feels heavenly while it lasts to do the forbidden things: to make goals, to give promises and vows you'll never keep.  And yet, you want to hold on to it forever.  💘

Some first loves live for months, some for years, some few decades.  

They mark how far you've come and how far you still have to go. You then realize that you can't go back in time, but maybe you can go forward. 

💥 Then comes the second, the hardest of all. It's here to serve the purpose you do not know. It soaks you all in.  It consumes your mind, life, and heart.   You know in your head that this is bad news, and you should probably walk away forever, but the unknown powers always lure you back. 💥

 It's here to make you feel the highs and the lows of life.  It gives you a glimpse of who you can be and who you no longer want to be. 
 
 💔 It's here to squeeze all you've got until one day you've got nothing. Until you no longer can go on, and everything that you so religiously hanged on to, you now are ready to let go,  walking out with nothing but a suitcase. Leaving all behind without knowing what's next. 💔

You'll feel sorry for yourself and the time that so unapologetically went by. You hope on time's healing powers to forgive and forget the love you've consciously signed up for despite the warnings of your soul, your friends, and family. 

Months later, the dots will connect. And although you'll still be walking through molded waters, you'll finally start seeing clear waters on the horizons.  

In life, we don't always get what we deserve. But we almost always get what we need.

And so comes the third, the greatest of all. 
It will feel scary and exciting altogether, yet natural and unforced. Everything just organically falling into its place. 

💥 Although there'll be icebergs and obstacles on their way suggesting you listen to your vulnerable Ego, pride, or conscious mind, you won't let it go so smoothly.  Over time, you may go separate ways for a while, but in the end, there'll be an unexplainable force pulling you back into each other's arms over and over again. 💥

Long-lasting love is here to show who you are. It's here to reveal what matters. It'll ask you out of your comfort zone. It'll push you against the walls of your true potential, you've never touched. Lastly,  it'll give you a chance to grow up.  

And although there were certain questions and unresolved issues, I shudder at what I almost lost if I had walked away because of that. 

Had I been more prideful and fearful, somewhere in the world today (probably in a tiny cramped room of a London apartment ) there would still be a single woman wandering the streets of a city in hopes to find love. 

So I urge you to forget your small thoughts. Forget the logic. Trust the feeling which is guiding you someplace magical through the signals of love. And maybe this time around, you won't get a fantastic Disney roller coaster, but you most certainly will wake up to a Disney sunset. And that, my friends, is Big Love. 💓💓💓

Love It Or Hate It, Timing Really Is Everything

Dating market can be very mysterious because...to say it gently -we're all screwed up royally somehow, sometime, someplace. 

We’re walking around with tons of emotional baggage unpacking it slowly in the front of the others.

I meet so many fantastic souls that are about to get their love dreams dashed and illusions shattered into pieces because not all relationships are destined to have long and prosperous lives. 

Want to know why timing is everything? Read on:

Themes are overlapping throughout the relationships, and I’ve seen that deep down, behind every cultural difference, value, birthplace, and current state, we deal with the same problem.

Timing is everything. 

It is one of the Gods that knows whether or not a relationship has a chance to last. In reality, you either thank, hate or blame the timing. 

It is challenging to build a long lasting relationship if mental places where you and your potential partner stand are far away from each other. Two people coming together have their own inner clock ticking faster or slower determinating what they think, how they feel and what they want the next couple years to look like.

 If one is mentally mature to commit to an everlasting relationship, he/she will behave accordingly. If he isn't, he will act like he isn’t. 

None of them are wrong.  

It’s just that you're heading East while he is leading South. In such instance, it's going to take some time to arrive at the same destination, if ever. 

It doesn't mean that relationship won't be able to form as in life there are always exceptions and second chances. However, we count those along one's fingers.

Maybe you got out of a serious relationship. If so, you aren’t in a state to commit straight away either. You feel bit sore, or even foreign in the land of dating. And that's Okay. 

You need time.

You may go on dates, but even then, you aren’t going to be the most live, energized, and vibrant yourself. 

The guy, on the other hand, perhaps been single for a year and is looking for a serious girlfriend. Timing is mismatched again.

It's logical to feel lost in your mind, heart and often streets after a breakup. 

You may not sign up for a trip to a frozen section picking up your favorite ice cream. Instead, you give up carbs and decide to move on.  

It's no secret, many of us turn to the most convenient medicine of the time - some trending dating app promising an exciting life and keeping our ego high.

As you get out there, they bombard you with questions that sound more like job interviews but with cocktails. Towards the end of the night, one would ask: “ So what is that you’re looking for?”

You keep blinking your eyes, readjusting core, taking another sip of Pinot Grigio while trying to win time to come up with a valid answer. 

“ What am I looking for?” 

You repeat the question and clear your throat. The deeper you look into their eyes, the less you know.

Here you are, with a perfect looking date that seems to put a firing gun straight to your forehead. You don't know what to say. You don't even know how to answer this question to yourself. 

You've got a perfect excuse: You're new to dating slowly dipping toes in fresh waters. 

Deep down you know you aren't ready for anything serious. This is an honest moment revealing the ultimate truth- it’s going to take some time until you're ready to date again. 

Maybe you can relate.

There are seasons in life that aren't about finding yet another relationship. There are seasons where we are given an opportunity to know ourselves better. Getting clear on what is that we want. 

The truth is, any person that could have tried to get close to you in a season that wasn't for love, had no real chance to do so because emotionally you were unavailable. 

And there is so many of us.

I've been on both sides and therefore with no second of doubt know that timing is one of the most crucial things in life. Timing decides whether or not your potential date can have the future. 

I don't believe in saying that you never meet right people at a wrong time. However, I know that if two people are meant to be together, they will meet again at the time when it will feel right. 

As I look at the parade of failed relationships, I realized that we should be honest to ourselves and others expressing our seasons of life and not being scared to be rejected, judged, or misunderstood. 

And as one season will end, there always be the next.

So in closing, I'd like to wish that you too meet someone who isn't plastering you like a band-aid over the fresh wounds but instead is ready to walk with you to the moon and back while holding on to this season of love.

xoxo

Kristina

Your Ex Was Meant To Hurt You And Here's Why

One Sunday morning, I decided to chill wearing nothing but PJs. The scene: I'm slowly sipping my low-fat Cappuccino and dreaming of Eggs Benedict with salmon. Ed Sheeran on the speakers. Hangover and makeup-free I'm feeling blessed for whatever there is to be grateful for on a day like this. 

My gratefulness didn't last for long when loudly-buzzing, vibrating sound of my iPhone managed to disturb my vibe. Within seconds I imagine my boyfriend, mother or best friend calling to find out the latest news about my Saturday night. 

What?! Are you kidding me? 

My heart starts to race as I let it ring for some more. I feel massive thunderstorm is about to strike inside of me. I get up, clear my throat, and try to act imaginary calm. 

" Hello," I said.

On the other line was my ex. We haven't talked to each other for at least eight months. Even then, it wasn't the most enticing conversation either. 

He's been drinking…dah! 

 Usually, it's a sober noon for me, and somewhere after midnight for him. Although there's more than just an ocean that separates us now,  I sometimes wondered how he is, but I never bothered to text or call. 

What's the point to shake up the past? 
He must be dating someone. Life is probably good for him. 

And just when you feel at ease and happy with what you have, when your memories of your former relationship start fading at the faster pace- he calls.

How mental is that?

I don't open my ex-file anymore; it wasn't always this way.

When scars were fresh, and everything that happened seemed like yesterday, words were just uninvitedly pouring out of my mouth.  
 I would tell everyone how disturbing, crazy, and in so many ways toxic our relationship was. I would paint the picture of this terribly bad guy to whoever was ready to listen. And me, this never wrong girl.

Oh, that felt good. Liberating and empowering. 

You don't realize how difficult it is to stuff one's life of six years into a suitcase. You can't picture what it means holding a one-way ticket home. You can't imagine how lonely, unprotected and foreign it feels to do it again. And no matter how many times before I have moved, it doesn't get easier. 

Above all, I looked like I had it together. I appeared stronger than I was, and at the same time, I felt so stunningly fragile. I looked like I'm empowered with superpowers to accomplish new beginnings while I quietly retired the " painful " side of my life.

 Since then, I was slowly sewing my ripped wide open heart together again. 

Starting from the scratch takes a lot of courage, willpower and inner strength. Pulling yourself up from the ground when you've been mentally knocked down means internal growth. And so, day by day, one step at the time, I grew stronger.

I didn't hate all male souls out there. I was mature enough to realize that not all men are the same. Not everyone out there is to get you, to play you, to possess you, and then eat your heart with a fine wine. 

You guys, did I hate him that much?

No. He was a great man. Twisted and bruised in his ways. He gave his all.

 I was expecting things he wasn't ready to give. He wasn't ready to let me go. Our personalities clashed. We didn't get each other. We weren't on the same page. Guess we never could figure it out. 

Until one day my patience wore thin. I had enough of my dramas, waiting and hoping our relationship would change. Because there possibly couldn't be a good ending to this. So I packed my bags.

It's been long enough to lick my wounds- three years to be exact. 
And to this day I get nervous when he calls. We instantly pick up right where we left off – being at each other's throats. 

There was no peace when stormy arguments, sleepless nights, and punches to our bruised hearts was our " normal."  We never agreed on what went wrong. He often thought I had a cactus where my heart should be. I thought he was too possessive, demanding, too everything. And the stories...the stories we told to the world were insanely different.

He thought I'd come back one day more mature and ready for the commitment. He hoped I'd become the woman he tried so hard to make out of me. Maybe this is why he's never given me a closure till date. 

This got me thinking; some people will never give you closure. You must grant it to yourself. The past will always be here to mess with the present. Memories, phone calls, random text messages, Instagram likes - these things will still show up. All you can do is to make peace with it, unleash what's holding you back, and let it go. 

We often wonder- what if things played out differently?  If we stayed? If we didn't go separate ways? If we could work out our differences?

I've traveled far from where I've been. 

I no longer want to run around wearing makeup that doesn't survive tears. I no longer want to leave angry in the middle of the foggy night. I no longer want to fight until one of us wins. 

I am happy where I've arrived. And just like that, my break- up turned out to be a breakthrough.

This season is about blissful zen. I synced and clicked with a man I met.  There's no need to lock our horns. No need to leave. No need to prove anything. Just be raw me and be loved anyway.  Little by little I learned to open up my heart again. 

Above all never lose faith that there's that one person that can accept you for who you are. Love you where you are. And just maybe this time around you'll come closer to meeting 'The One.'

5 Reasons Why You Should Forget Your Ex

Time passes. Days, weeks, months. Empires rise and fall, and you still remember him.

I get it- we all have a past. We lived and dated a little. 
We still vividly remember stormy arguments, sleepless nights, and punches to our bruised hearts. We also recall the good times. 

 It's difficult to erase the past, and you shouldn't be trying to. 
On the other hand, if an inner-peace is what you're after, then perhaps you'll pick up a few ideas that will be useful to you.

You should stop talking about your Ex. 

Here is why:

1. There's a reason why things didn't work out. 

Every relationship has it's learning curve. We date people that are emotionally unavailable. We pick partners that have different goals. We meet at a wrong time. We can't work out our differences. We are insecure. They are jealous. We f*** up. 

Actually, it doesn't matter who does. It doesn't even matter who call it quits. The point is, it didn't work out. There's no need to obsess over something that is no longer present. I know it sounds easy to say, but practically speaking - there's a lid for every pot. Look at it in a way as - Your Ex just wasn't the right lid. 

2. Opening ex- file; a true recipe for disaster.

See, women tend to speak more about what concerns them, upsets them or matters to them. If you still think and talk about your Ex, that means that there's part of you not willing to let him go. We all need some time to lick our wounds- and you are allowed to take all the time you need. 

 It's tempting to talk about past when a bottle of wine is involved, and you have someone's pair of ears to listen. You rush to get it off your chest. You believe that you will feel less hurt...eventually.
 You'll finally move on. So you go ahead and drop the bomb on everyone who's there to listen. You speak your heart out- how wrong, sinful or selfish your Ex was.  Oh, that feels good. Liberating and empowering. 

The thing is, you're not in therapy. Excessively talking about your past relationship will not do any good to you, especially if the listener is your date. Even if he will nod his head as he listens, he also makes mental notes on how much your Ex still matter to you.  How you love playing a victim. He will also conclude that you're not ready to invest yourself in a brand new relationship as you're too attached to the old one.  

3. Men are sensitive when it comes to your Exes.

Seafood linguine... standard behavior. 🐙 • • • • • #linguine #pasta #food #carbs #happiness #meal #thaifood #guiltypleasure #darlingescapes #visualoflife #letsgoeverywhere #roamtheplanet #travel #traveldiaries #beautifuldestinations #travelgram #wishlist #ilovetravel #travelcouple #exploringtheglobe #views #worldplaces #picoftheday #seafood #latviangirl #thailand #eating #always

A post shared by KRISTINA RAZINSKA✨ (@kristina_razinska) on Jan 4, 2018 at 9:03am PST

If a guy is interested- you will not gain extra points by telling him in detail how good or bad your past relationships were. Even if the guy does ask you: " What's the longest relationship you had?"

He is not expecting to get the whole fifteen-minute background story by the time you finish eating your linguine with clams. He didn't ask that question to find out where and when you two met. Or what went wrong, and why you will never in a million years date the guy who treats you this way. 

The less you share, the better off you'll be. No man wants to be compared, analyzed or feel as he needs to compete with your Ex. He also doesn't want to see you overly excited about the times you shared with another man before him. 

Like it or not, deep inside all men are territorial, so save the breath and keep all the spicy details to yourself. If you absolutely need to share- tell your girlfriends!

4. You can't move on.

Have you ever catch yourself stalking his social media feed blanked-eyed zombie style?

Are you wondering- how is he doing without you? If so,  you're just unnecessarily shaking up the past.  Maybe he managed to move on faster than you. Possibly he's already dating someone else. So what? Let the guy be. 

Obsessing over a gone relationship is not only unhealthy is also toxic. The sooner you stop this, the quicker you'll  feel Zen and happy with what you have. Your memories of former relationship will start fading at the faster pace, and you will finally vibrate on a higher level.  That is not only sexy but also very arousing to other men. 

You don't have to hate all male souls out there. You have to be mature enough to realize that not all men are the same. Not everyone out there is to get you, to play with you, to possess you and then eat your heart with a fine wine. 

5. Give yourself a closure.

There's always this moment when we think- how would my life play out differently?  
If I stayed? 
If I wasn't left high and dry? 
If we didn't go separate ways? If we could work this out?

Some people will never give you closure. You must give it to yourself. The past will always be here to mess with the present. Memories, phone calls, random text messages, Insta likes - these things will still show up. No matter how hard you are trying to forget. All you can do is- to make peace with it. Then you drop it like a hot coal and let it go. 

I've traveled far from where I've been. 

I no longer want to run around wearing makeup that doesn't survive my tears. I no longer want to leave angry in the middle of the foggy night. I no longer want to fight until one of us wins. 

I am happy where I've arrived. 

I synced and clicked with someone else.  There's no need to lock our horns. No need to leave. No need to prove anything. Just be raw me and be loved anyway.  Little by little I learned to reopen up my heart again. 

On a final note, I wish you too never lose faith that there is that one person who accepts you as you are. Love you where you are. And just maybe, this time around, this will play out differently because you now know better. And you now in full are ready for love.

xoxo

Kristina

The Unedited Truth About Why You're Failing To Meet 'The One'

They say that in big cities we're always looking for a job, a boyfriend, or an apartment. We stroll around too busy with no time to waste on things we don't agree with, don't believe in or don't want to deal with. 

I was never religiously preaching perfection, but everything I was unintentionally searching for had to feel that way to inner " me."

 I was massively weeding out everything and everybody who didn't live up to my expectations. The ever-changing ideas I pinned to my dream board were frequently replaced by newer and fresher experiences I had. 

What's next? Where's next? Who's next? 

This got me thinking about the way so many of us live.

We screen, we filter. We exclude what doesn't fit into our lives. Be it this sweet neighbor that likes you, or that girl at work that you'll never be friends with. People come, and you let them go.

Because if things don't get delivered in a packaging you ordered, you don't claim it yours. Because if it isn't a flavor, you asked for you say it tastes funny.

Same goes for love.  If love doesn't show up wrapped in all fancy, we fail to recognize it. 

For instance, I know many women that are searching for the perfect guy. They haven't met him in person but they sure saw his profile someplace in the social media.

Sounds familiar?

And then you meet a guy who's funny, friendly and has personality to die for. You can't stop laughing at his jokes. His energy is infectious. Being around him leaves you magnetic. Your heart is overflowing with joy.  Your instinct will even tell you may have found a soulmate without believing that such a thing exists. You feel adventurous, energized. You feel like you are sent to seventh heaven.

Except...he isn't as hot as you would like him to be. He never went to university, and despite working hard on his startup, he hasn't made his first million by the time he met you. 

Hmmm well, that's too bad you think. Your family/friends are not going to be impressed. After all, you were looking for an intellectual match because you worked hard for your great education. You won't be taking too many spontaneous trips to the tropical lands because he's always working. You're clearly not going to move to the penthouse suite with a panoramic view anytime soon. 

Apart from that... you feel the way you always wanted to feel. Being around him lights you on fire. Your entire body is vibrating in a feel-good mode. There's love, passion, and butterflies. Everything you always wanted.

That's the thing about feelings; they nudge you towards what's right and what's wrong. In other words, it's not the goals you're chasing; it's the feelings they will bring you (even if the logistics of your vision aren't matching up. )

A post shared by KRISTINA RAZINSKA✨ (@kristina_razinska) on Sep 18, 2017 at 6:17am PDT

 I used to be so focused on what I wanted that I was blindsided towards how I wanted to feel in the presence of the guy.

You can't plan everything. Life's pretty random. Not everything is meant to work out the way you think you want it. 
Meaning, life may not roll out red carpet under your perfectly pedicured toes. You may not meet someone on the night out when you're all dolled up. In fact, most likely this will happen in the place you least expect ( if you need a visual, you're wearing a hoodie while buying your eggs on a Sunday morning.)

This isn't about settling less for what you damn well deserve. 
This isn't about compromise. If anything, this is about the expanding. Opening yourself to endless possibilities of love, adventure, and fun that's beyond your wildest imagination. Don't think of what you're loosing. Think of what you're gaining. Love. Passion. Butterflies. Future.

xoxo

Kristina

Why changing your Life Goals is a Good Idea

In today's world, you are suffocating in choices either you want it or not. You become the magnet for so many possibilities the second you leave your doorstep. 

You see, hear or get to know something inspiring every single day. And if so- why remain the same? Why hold on to the ideas that no longer speak to your soul? Be it a job you should take or a guy you should date. 

It's one of those moments when you stand in the wildly jam-packed intersection- trying not to spill your skinny cappuccino or trip in those strappy shoes, you stop. You check your phone. You've got 15 seconds to be exact, to check all those blinking, buzzing notifications until the red signal turns back to a green again. You start walking again.
 

 And then...there's this bittersweet thought pulling you towards the wannabe land of sparkles, magic and everything dreamy as you scroll down that Insta feed for the third time today. Desire, jealousy or inspiration creeps in. 

Few caffeine sips later you wish you were having tequila, limes and good times. Laying down on a white sanded beach wearing the sexiest bikini you own next to the tanned man of your dreams. 

Do you feel me on that?

You have this idea of the picture-perfect life. However blurred around the edges this picture may be, you wish for a second it could be yours. 

And then you catch yourself thinking - " there has to be something more than this." Because you don't want your life to become a script you no longer want to follow.

You don't have to put a stamp on our life. You just have to be open-minded enough to breathe in the inspiration wherever it may come from and don't be afraid to see where it leads.

And as we do that, we progress, we sync with an ever-changing world and life becomes easier, happier place to live.  That's the goal after all, right?

Snow White moments

Once upon a time, there was a little girl that couldn’t wait to slip into her mom’s high heeled shoes, powder the nose, and paint her nails in the color of the rainbow. She had big hopes and dreams for years ahead. She dreamt of faraway tropical lands, fine-looking life, and a Prince Charming to save her from any trouble she may encounter. 

And then she grew up and got breakouts and blackheads. Suddenly, her whole world seemed turning upside down when her hopes and dreams were still out of reach. 

Is it ever going to happen? Or was it a one of those fake, hard to get, impossible to achieve dreams in the first place? Have we been fooled so hard that now we are scared for life in search of something doesn’t even exist?

It seems we are always looking for that one thing to complete us.  Waiting for someone to change – be it your partner, your boss, your mom, you. Expecting to be happy. Waiting for the right job, the right opportunity, right moment, enough money to do things that our hearts crave the most. 

How long have you been waiting for perfect timing, right career move, right lover, that phone call, that answer, that inspiration, or proper diet just to show up?

Aren’t you exhausted from waiting?

I started to think that what if things we are waiting for will never show up? Would Snow White be still asleep for another 100 years? Or would she have danced out of her prison of sleep, gotten a haircut and moved on to conquer the world? 

I couldn’t help but wonder. How come we are always searching, dreaming, dating, leaving or getting desperate over relationships we have with men, jobs, friends, and life in general.

Are we the new generation of the Sex and the City girls? Just in this time of history, it’s entirely Okay to be wild, experimental, hangover, and always on to the next thing?

xoxo

Kristina